We have come up with a story here, which I have read in a research of “Dale Carnegie” the famous American Writer and researcher. I would like to tell you why resentment arouse when a person is criticized and how situation changes when a different approach with a Pleasant Tone comes into picture. I have tried to explain things in simple words here and tried to conclude the information. I Hope you like it. If you like it, please do share the this article with your friends, colleagues and bosses.
There was a Mr. Burrhus Frederic Skinner, he was an American psychologist, Behaviorist, Author, Inventor, and Social Philosopher, he proved in his time through a researches that even If an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn more rapidly then an animal pushed or punished for a bad behavior. I would like to tell you that The same applies for humans also, because by criticizing we mostly arouse resentment and decrease their productivity. So if you are working in a company as Team Leader, Manager Or If you are a Businessman or Entrepreneur, this logic and techniques will help you to understand the psychology of people and how it works.
If you are in a profession where you want other people to obey you and learn things from you to be productive for the company, so you ought to wear a pleasant voice tone, instead of criticizing people and force then to kneel by condemning them viciously for their work. Well, normally people don’t criticized themselves, no matter how wrong they may be. For them, criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive side and it wounds a person’s precious pride and hurt there sense of importance.
Let me put it in other words to make you understand, see how things are working for you, you can make more friends by becoming interested in them, instead by trying to get people interested in you, because the usual method of pleasing, Coaxing, Scolding had all ended in futility. The fact is that anybody can get fed up with inadequate behavior and none of these things kept the situation handled in the past during lots of studies of psychologist. The moral of the story is scolding and nagging somebody would not help you in increasing the productivity. If you may try to inflict someone by your thinking, then you may be goading him to get revenge and that’s why manager should do something that is only for employees benefit and detriment.
Now, I would tell you a story where you will understand the attitude of people. A short time before this incident happened, A Criminal minded man was partying road side in his car with few of his friends and a policeman walked upto him, asked him to show his Driving License. Now you see what happened, Without saying a word this man drew his gun and shot the policeman down. The policeman was lying on the road with full of blood. Later police arrested him and presented him in the Court. The trial happened, where court sentenced him for ’14 year of Imprisonment’. When he was asked how he took this Incident and does he regret what he has done, then He looked into the eyes of Judge and said “This is what I get for defending myself.” Now you see his attitude where he had never accepted his mistake or felony. Similarly people mostly don’t criticize themselves, no matter how wrong it may be but for them criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive mode and it wounds a person’s precious pride where it hurts his sense of importance and arouse resentment.
All of us be we are a worker in a factory, A Clerk in office or Even a king upon his throne, all of us like people who admire us. Let me illustrate, Many BPO’s trained their employees or telephonic operators to greet all callers in a pleasant tone which radiate trust and enthusiasm, because it makes caller feel that company is concerned about them. That too was one of the secret of every politician’s astonishing personality. You must have noticed that every successful politician remembers all major party worker’s name, even if she/he is a obscure party worker for media house. So it’s not about astrological foggiest thought or faith, but if you want other to like you, if you want to develop real friendship then keep this principle in mind. People are not interested in you, they are interested in themselves morning, noon and evening, that’s why if you show your are interested in them they will become your friends and will start liking you.
According to a survey report a telephonic company made a detailed study of telephonic conversation of their customers to find out which word is more frequently used while talking, you have guessed it right ?, Yes, it’s personal pronoun ” I “. It was used 4,000 times in 200 long telephonic conversation. Moreover Let me ask you a question, let say when you see a group photograph that you are in, whose picture do you look for first ? Now I believe you understood that how we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us. Now you see If you are a writer, you have to be interested in people if you want to be a successful writer of all kind, you have to show that you are concerned in people and that’s the only way to be connect with your audience.
Shakespeare said, Their is nothing either good or bad in this world, but our thinking make it so. Well, as it is being said, happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions but it depends on inner conditions. So first I applied this technique on myself, I have also eliminated criticism, I started appreciating people instead of condemnation. I have stopped talking about what I want. I am now try to see the other person’s point of views also, where I know that these things have revolutionized my life and I believe that It will help you too. It doesn’t matter what you have, What you are, where you are, Or what you are doing, but you need to practice smiling everyday looking into the mirror and it will slowly be inoculated into your body. Forget about seldom smile or grin and don’t ever be a grouch. Start smiling and give soft smile to people and see the difference what it makes. Believe me after that you will be a totally different man, A happier man, Rich with friends and relationships, where the only thing that matter much after all is “No Criticism” and “Only Appreciation”.
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